5 Things They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy

So here's the thing -- I've read about 5-6 different books when I first found out we were expecting. I learned A LOT while reading and knew what to expect for the most part. However as the weeks have gone by, I've noticed that there are quite a few things that they don't tell you. Maybe because these things aren't the most flattering, but honestly there really isn't much about pregnancy that IS flattering. So why are we holding back?

I figure why not. So here are a FEW things that I have personally experienced during pregnancy that I was never told about:

1. Pregnancy Brain. Okay, so maybe some books do mention it, but all they say is that you will experience slight memory loss which is due to your body being exhausted from growing a little human inside of you. HA! Forget memory loss, nobody ever mentioned pregnancy makes you downright stupid at times. Nobody mentioned the fact that I would spend an entire day before I noticed that I was wearing my underwear backwards, or that my fellow prego-friend would show up to work with two different shoes on. Did we just enter a time warp and go back to being 5 years old?

2. The fact that when you sneeze, cough, laugh too hard, etc you WILL pee yourself a bit and you won't be able to help it. So while pregnancy brain will make you feel like a 5 year old, all it will take is one little sneeze to make you feel like you aged 50 years. Awesome.

3. You will lose your mouth filter all together. So maybe this doesn't necessarily apply to everyone, but it certainly applies to me. I've always had a really good filter - I know when is a good time and when is a bad time to say certain things. Or to not point out when someone is being an idiot. Well, since becoming pregnant, my filter seems to have disappeared. I have a co-worker that likes to think that he is always right, even when he isn't and will be an arrogant ass about it. It drives everyone in the office mental. Well I happened to call him out one day. I couldn't stop my mouth. It's like my brain was screaming "Noooo!" but my mouth wasn't listening. Oh, and said co-worker stormed off like a 3 year old slamming my office door shut, but he got over it shortly after. Yippee...

4. Morning sickness is a load of crock. First of all, they need to rename it "all-day sickness" and second of all, it doesn't just magically disappear once you make it out of your first trimester. Mind you, it DOES get better after the first tri, but it certainly doesn't necessarily go away for everyone. Heck, I'm almost into my third tri and I power puke at least once every couple of weeks. How's that for a visual?

5. Brushing your teeth turns into a gagging game. My fellow prego friend and I were talking about this last weekend about how every time we brush our teeth, we have to make sure we are near the sink for fear of gagging turning into full-on puking. I mentioned this to her thinking she was going to think I was nuts, because I always "brush" my tongue while I brush my teeth (for some reason I thought I was the only one that did this). Come to find out she does the same thing. So moral of number 5? Pregnancy heightens your gag reflexes. Want to "brush" more than the tip of your tongue? Good luck.